Why I'm serving a mission!

2 5 D A Y S

that's how much I have left before I embark on a journey so different from everything I have ever done in my life.

Over the last 6 months (while I made the decision to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, started the mission papers, sent them away, waited patiently, received my mission call to the 
<UTAH SALT LAKE CITY MISSION SPANISH SPEAKING>
and opened it, waited patiently for the days to pass only to then wish I had more days left) - During all this time, I've had many many people ask me THE 1-million-dollar Question:

"Why are you going on a mission?"

WHY (...they ask me):

My parents, trying to understand me my reasons, 
the missionaries, because they've been there,
the members of my branch, because they're proud (apparently I'm the first sister they're sending away:-) )
the members of my (ex-)ward, because I only left the ward mere 10 months ago to go to law school and they're confused
my friends and random people I meet (e.g. on airplanes), because they're interested and have considered a mission themselves / served a mission / never heard of the church before. 

It's just like an engagement. Anyone who's been engaged? Bear with me. I haven't!
(Wow, that was the most unnecessary sentence in the history of my blog)  But every time someone gets engaged it feels like every 5 seconds someone comes up and asks: "Oooh that's a pretty ring / I got the invite / Your parents told me / I stalked your facebook, how did he ask you? No judgement here, I'm (probably) equally guilty. 
You've told the story a hundred thousand million times, it might even already bore you.
You wish you could just tell everyone while you're still all excited
  
I love sharing "my story" so I'm writing it down here so that I can just refer to my blog if anyone anywhere ever asks me again and at the same time, increasing the number of views on my blog  Just kidding!:D 
I hope you enjoy my stony path of the last 6 months, I hope you'll also want to share the next 18 months with me, my E-mail and address in Utah will be regularily posted on my facebook account by my little sister (haven't asked her yet, but I'm sure she'll do it anyway!)

My Story  

I've always wanted to serve a mission.
As a child I grew up with the enthusiasm and hope of "one day, being called as a missionary". 
And then, I never grew the "foot or two" that qualify for missionary work and I got discouraged because everyone else was so tall.... 
I loved the missionaries, I loved the happiness they radiated. I loved the joy they brought to others' lives and the joy they seemed to have from sharing the Gospel. 
I decided that when I was grown-up I would be just like them:-) Yep, I was cute like that.

Fantasizing and dreaming is wonderful, but one day you grow up and realize that life isn't a dream. And then I realized what a sacrifice it must have been for all those dozens of missionaries that have (without realizing it) influenced my life for good to come here. 
Everything they must have left behind. And now there I was, asking myself, if I could make that sacrifice. 

I graduated high school barely 3 months after my 18th birthday. Sister Missionaries have to be 19 years old to serve. That meant waiting ... maths ... 9 months! With not much to do. Technically, I could have a kid in 9 months! 
Putting my education on hold for (more maths!) 27 months! I wanted to go to University. (I didn't check with a calculator so you better correct me if I was wrong, I was trying to solve 18+9 if that's not perfectly obvious :P )

So Tabea, what's it gonna be?

I changed my mind. A lot. But I guess that's what growing up and finding yourself is about. I went from serving a mission to not serving a mission to serving a mission later in a matter of seconds.

Doctrine&Covenants 4: 3 says: "If ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work"

I wanted to serve God. During the summer break of my senior year my stake's youth (including me) spent two weeks in Sweden and Denmark. It was a very spiritual youth convention for me. We had the opportunity to attend the Copenhagen Temple. And that's when I got my answer: serve a mini mission.

Confused? 

I did serve a mini mission in September 2014 in the Berlin Germany Mission. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It literally felt like I was gone for 18 months. I learned so much. Especially about missionary work. And it has helped me now, because I kind of know what I'm getting myself into and it's de-iced the frozen water I'm jumping into. 

To me, I had "served" and now I could start law school. What a perfect plan! I had lost no time at all and I had gotten all I wanted. That's what I call efficient! 

I moved to Münster, I studied Law, I started institute, I found new friends, I learned so many new things. 
I literally LOVED my life. I loved law, even though it was tough and soo much work. I loved living by myself and having my own rules. I loved Münster. I loved my cute, little branch, I loved my church calling. I loved my friends, at University and my YSA friends from church. Life was pretty much perfect. I didn't want to change anything. 

By then I had pretty much forgotten about my desire to serve a mission. It was a few weeks before Christmas and I was visiting a friend in Essen. She wanted to serve a mission and had the mission papers there. And suddenly, it was like a fire in my heart. A warm fire. I wanted to serve a mission! 

I thought about the Pro's and Con's. I considered the consequences: Losing my apartment, leaving University mid-way, leaving my friends, leaving a city I'd come to love.
I thought about how much I would learn! About my Heavenly Father, about myself. I thought about the hearts that I would touch and the e t e r n a l  j o y I could bring to someone else's family. 

All that meant so much to me that I could let go of my beloved life for 18 months.  


Decision made, I called my parents. They were not too happy. It didn't make too much sense to them. They were pretty mad. And while I spent the Christmas holidays with them, I reconsidered the answer I had received and decided i might just wait 4 years to get my degree and then serve with my sister and her boyfriend "best friend". Another perfect, efficient plan, isn't it?

I've come to learn, that we, as busy people with limited time before we turn 21 and old, want to be as efficient as possible. And that's good and important on this earth. But I've realized that God really does have a different perspective. And his bigger picture is the present and future we can and should trust. 
I might be sacrificing everything that means the WORLD to me, but I trust him to give me something in return, that will make me more the woman that he wants and needs me to become. It's not been as easy as this sounds. It still isn't. Some people that I constantly cry over will know:-D

Long story, short: I'd already talked to my branch president, President Vermillion, before Christmas. He was released the week I came back: January 4th 2015. Our new branch president apparently had been our high counselor. I'd never met him before (Blame on me, here, I'd probably been at home the sundays he'd come and I'd only been in the branch for 3 months). Knowing how busy that kind of transition can be from my dad (an ex-bishop) I decided to just wait. Maybe he didn't even know about my desire to serve a mission? If he did, he'd sure come to me wondering why I wasn't asking for my mission papers.

On January 11th, the next sunday, I had decided to just not say anything. But I had this strong impression to wait and talk to my new branch president, President Wulff. I didn't know where that came from and what I was supposed to tell him and I guess whatever I said can be summarized as;
"I want to serve a mission, but I don't really want to serve a mission anymore"
I guess whatever he thought can be summarized as "!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

He gave me 48 hours to ponder decide and we made an appointment for Tuesday, January 13th 8:00 p.m.



I think those were the most intense 48 hours of my life. And then I came to a point where I just KNEW I was needed somewhere right now. And it was on a mission. I've never felt the spirit so much than in those 48 hours and the week that followed. 

I also cried a lot, because I knew what I would give up. More than my new-found student life I would miss my family and my close friends. The people who have been a major part of my life for so many years. I didn't want them to forget me. I didn't want us to break contact. I know what I'm talking about, because as a 19 year-old LDS female I've had a LOT of my male friends leave for 2 years. I didn't want to miss my little sister turning 16 and my brother preparing to serve a mission. Summer, autumn, spring holidays. Christmases, Birthdays. Funerals.  Saying good-bye to my family in Spain this Easter was a very painful thing to do. Hearing my own 92 year-old grandmother telling me she was disappointed I was leaving law school etc.

However, all that doesn't matter. Because I honestly believe that 

I t  w i l l  b e  w o r t h  it.

And if you're thinking about whether or not to serve a mission - Stick to the answer you received. Your Heavenly Father loves you. And he has a plan for you. It might differ             c o m p l e t e l y from your plan, but he knows what will (ultimately) make you happy. 
Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what's waiting for me and I don't know what's going to happen when I eventually come back in December of 2016. 

I only know how incredibly h a p p y  I was when I opened my mission call, the day after my 19th birthday, the night before my endowment. I'm excited to serve a mission! And it's going to be a dream come true...

... in 2 5 D A Y S